He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
