Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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