is your mom at the bar?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
