Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
