I think I am morally bankrupt
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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