Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
