No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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