I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize