he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
