Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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