The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
