Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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