if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
