Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
its liver damage thursday
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