im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
