do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm at about main and main street
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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