im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
