Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
