the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
