im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
