Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize