doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
