I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
