You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
did you just send me my own nude
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
