haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
