OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
