I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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