I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
