i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
