My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
