I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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