96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
