What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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