just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
