you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize