Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
