Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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