awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize