if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize