1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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