Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize