I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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