I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
worst night to have a conscience
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
