i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
