I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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