Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
