12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
