i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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