Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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