I heard we made out
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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