Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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