GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
a search helicopter?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
