i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
