And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
