3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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