hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
