five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
