Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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