No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
