i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
