So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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