Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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