I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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